Random Rewrite #3: Honda

The back cover of the July 2008 Harper's magazine displays a full-page ad for Honda. Blue sky, green grass, a father and son flying kites on a sunny summer day. After a stat showing that Honda has averaged five more miles per gallon than the industry average over the last 15 years, the copy reads:

Higher fuel efficiency, lower greenhouse gas emissions.
That's the power of dedication.

Over the past fifteen years, Honda has achieved the highest average fuel economy of any automaker. Which means our vehicles have emitted less CO2--the primary cause of global warming--on average, than any other car company. All of which enhances our ultimate goal: a cleaner environment.

HONDA
The Power of Dreams

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It's a perfectly good ad, yet it seemed like a bit of a missed opportunity. Thanks to its own forays into hybrid technology, Honda has some legitimate environmental street cred, but the tone favors the advertiser over the audience (when you don't use the second person, you're not really talking to anybody). Plus, coupling "the power of dedication" with "the power of dreams" is a little confusing.

I would have written it slightly differently...

* * *

More miles to your gallon.
Less carbon in your atmosphere.

Spending less money at the pump isn't exactly a new idea. At Honda, we've been leading the charge for more than 15 years. Because giving you the best fuel economy of any automaker isn't just good for your pocketbook, it's better for the environment.

Green innovation is a goal for some automakers. For Honda, it's already a way of doing business.

HONDA
Innovation. Proven.

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Previous Random Rewrites:

#2: AkzoNobel
#1: Nortel